


i wanted so badly to be brave

by kaymccall



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 18:02:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18696550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaymccall/pseuds/kaymccall
Summary: The summer between fifth and sixth grade is one of the best of Kyle's life.





	i wanted so badly to be brave

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alexmanes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexmanes/gifts).



The summer between fifth and sixth grade is one of the best of Kyle’s life.

That’s the summer he and Alex build the treehouse. It’s the summer Kyle’s neighbors go out of town for two months and offer to let the Valentis use their pool whenever they want in exchange for Michelle house-sitting for them. It’s a summer full of joy and change and powdered lemonade and running through sprinklers to escape the New Mexico heat.

Jim does most of the actual building, but Alex and Kyle are finally at an age where they can help out as much as Kyle’s mom allows. Jim teaches Alex how to use the buzz saw and confiscates the electric screwdriver from Kyle after he keeps using the loud noise it makes to scare the backyard squirrels. When it gets too hot, they jump into the neighbors’ pool, sometimes without even taking the time to change out of their clothes and into their swimsuits. They have water gun fights and whack each other over the head with pool noodles and sometimes they invite the Ortechos over to play categories and chicken. No matter whose team she’s on, Rosa always wins.

Rarely, Jesse Manes will come over to help them build. It happens more often toward the end of the summer than it does at the beginning. Jesse keeps a close eye on Alex, more so than in years past. Kyle doesn’t really understand it; the fact that they’re getting older should mean Alex gets more freedom, not less. Alex is never allowed to sleep over when Jesse’s there.

As the treehouse is nearing completion, Jim fashions a sign out of a plank of wood and sets down a couple buckets of paint and some brushes in front of them. They trace out the  words “Kyle and Alex’s Clubhouse” on the sign in big, block letters, and they take their paintbrushes and start decorating. Kyle writes “no girls allowed” on the bottom of the sign and Alex says, “What about Liz?” so Kyle crosses out “no” and replaces it with “some.” Alex dips his paintbrush in one of the bucket and smears a white streak across Kyle’s cheek. Kyle looks taken aback for a moment, and Alex giggles, but Kyle quickly retaliates by flicking his own paintbrush at him, and soon they’re shrieking and chasing each other around the yard flinging paint at each other until Michelle comes out and yells at Jim for letting them ruin their clothes.

When the treehouse is finally finished, Alex pulls out a pocketknife he’d stolen from one of his brothers, and carves  _AM_  in the corner on the wall. Then he hands the knife to Kyle. “Your turn.”

Kyle carves “ _\+ KV_ ” next to Alex’s initials, and Alex frowns. “You’re not supposed to draw a plus sign, I don’t think.”

“Why not?” Kyle asks.

“I don’t know. You’re just not.” Alex hesitates. “It means you’re like,  _together._ ”

Kyle thinks on this for a second. “Well, that’s stupid. We’re best friends. It’s our treehouse. We make our own rules.”

Alex smiles faintly. “Okay.”

They lay out blankets on the floor and fall asleep against each other, smelling like chlorine and sawdust and sweat. They stay like that for no more than an hour before Alex wakes up, Kyle still asleep and resting on his shoulder, and uses the opportunity to monopolize Kyle’s Game Boy. He pretends not to notice the sound of their dads arguing in hushed-but-still-audible voices in the yard below—the tree house is their safe place, a fortress blocking out the troubles of the outside world. He concentrates on the game in front of him and the sound of Kyle’s steady breathing.

Kyle stays asleep against Alex for at least another twenty minutes, only waking up to the sound of Jesse Manes barking “Alex! It’s time to go!” and the movement of Alex shifting under him.

“Already?” Kyle asks groggily, blinking as his eyes adjust to the sun shining through the treehouse window. It’s low in the sky and bathes the whole backyard in a warm, orange light. Kyle pokes his head out as Alex scrambles to his feet. “Dad! Can’t Alex sleep over?”

“No.” Jesse answers before Jim, firm and hostile.

Kyle whines, “Aw, c’mon, please?”

“Kyle,” Jim says, low and cautionary, shaking his head.

“Alex!” Jesse yells again. “Now.”

Alex tosses the Game Boy aside into Kyle’s lap. “I beat the level for you,” he says, before hurriedly climbing down the ladder.

Jesse yanks Alex’s arm too hard, and Alex has to sprint to keep up with him as he drags him to the car.

“Alex is never allowed to do anything fun,” Kyle laments the next day to his mom over breakfast.

Michelle purses her lips. “Jesse Manes is a strict man,” she finally offers half-heartedly.

“I hate him,” Kyle mumbles before he can stop himself. He instinctively looks up, expecting to be chastised. He’s not supposed to hate anyone— or at least he’s not supposed to say as much in front of his mom.

But Michelle says nothing. She just sighs sadly.

Kyle doesn’t see Alex again until school starts. When he does, Alex won’t look him in the eye, and winces when Kyle elbows him in the ribs.

Middle school makes everything different. Maria DeLuca comes in the first day wearing lots of gaudy jewelry and dark eyeliner that she offers to help put on Alex. Liz starts to look at Kyle in a new way, and it isn’t long before Kyle starts seeing her in a way he never has before as well. Older kids in the hall call Alex words that Kyle doesn’t know the meaning of, even if Alex seems to understand them. He never says as much, and he won’t tell Kyle what the names mean, but he knows enough to know they’re mean words, bad words, the kind he can’t ask his mom about because he shouldn’t repeat them.

One day at lunch, a group of seventh graders invite Kyle to join their kickball game. “Not him though,” sneers Adam Ramirez, looking pointedly at Alex.

Kyle frowns. “Why not?”

“It’s fine,” Alex says dejectedly. “I don’t want to play.”

Kyle wants to put up more of a fight, but they’re at the age where popularity is starting to actually matter, and he’d have to be stupid to turn down an opportunity to hang out with the older kids, so he runs after them, leaving Alex behind.

He doesn’t know it at the time, but it’s the beginning of the end for them.

**Author's Note:**

> come bother me on [tumblr](http://kaymccalls.tumblr.com/)


End file.
